How to be an Olympic gardener
Hello m' golden Zeuses, A brief insight into the day in a life of an olmypic gardener... 1) I promise to Zeus that I have trained for the past ten months by doing as much tea drinking, seed planting and weeding as possible. 2) My fellow budding athletes and I paint our nails gold, silver and bronze, only to have them promptly destroyed by further outdoor sportsmanship (mostly trampolining and dirt digging). 3) A succulent shrine is constructed as an offering to Zeus. (The creature is a nod to Athena's mechanical owl, in the 1981 film Clash of the Titans) 4) Poseidon, annoyed at all the attention Zeus is getting with the Games, angrily brandishes his trident. Together they battle out in the bay, where sea meets sky, thus creating Storm Evert. Despite my frantic attempts to stake the sunflowers in torrential rain, one sunflower is defeated in the 70 miles per hour howling winds. Two ancient urns take a tumble, but recover. 5) We hear a rumour that Poseidon is resid...